We just gave Naomi Watts a pat on the back for her tuxedo dress; now, Katherine Heigl has worn one on Jimmy Kimmel. And in this alley.

I know this isn’t entirely a fair angle, but it’s the only one I could find of the whole thing. Based on the available evidence, I’m giving the win to Naomi: Hers is sexier; this one somehow manages to look matronly even though you can totally see some cleavage (which looks as if it was squeezed around and taped into place to make SURE it got some air time). And it can’t be said enough that I think that hair color ruins just about any outfit, anywhere, anytime. It’s so platinum it almost has a greenish hue to it — like, my twins have some grass stains on their pants that remind me of Heigl’s head. Really. Is that a fair way to judge the dresses on their own? No, but life isn’t fair. Especially because those f’ing grass stains won’t come out and now every time I put the dudes in those pants to go to the park or eat macaroni and cheese, I’m going to see tiny dancing Heigl heads on their knees.