Obviously the truly hideous outfits will always make our eyeballs vibrate with all the inaudible screams coming from their component parts. But every so often, when I notice a garment that is so hideous, so misguided, so roundly deplorable, and so gut-stabbingly fugly that it recalls the very foundation of this website, all I can do is step back and clap with glee.
This beastly canker is one such outfit:
Where to start? The snagged and vomitous cobwebbing draped all over her body? The visible bra? The fencing on her right leg? Any of the many other blips? Perhaps you’d like to see the side view:
Oh, sweet girl, I did not know you yearned so badly for the heat of a flashbulb. We are going to have a LOT to talk about at the Huddle of the Heathers — which is a way more motley bunch than the Conclave of the Jessicas, by the way. Right now it includes Heather Locklear, Heather Matarazzo, Heather Morris (Brittany on Glee), Heather Burns (the pageant winner in Miss Congeniality; she’s great in it), Heather Menzies-Urich (Louisa in The Sound of Music), Heather Mills (the ex-McCartney), Heather Hemmens (she was in Hellcats), Carl Weathers because of rhyming, and anyone who played a Heather in Heathers. Which gives us Shannen Doherty, so that’ll be spicy. She and Locklear can trade Aaron Spelling stories. Given that no one is naming anyone Heather anymore (BLASPHEMY!), this should hold us for a while until that name comes back in fashion. Hopefully that’ll be before this dress does.