I totally forgot Renee Fleming happened at the Super Bowl. And the reason I forgot is, I think, because a) I was still spooning out dip at the time she sang, and dip is really, really important; and b) randomly she wasn’t showing up in our subs, although that has since changed. So here she is:

I wish Meryl Streep would swan into the Oscars wearing something like this — it’s a dash of her regular simplicity, with then the special sauce of Capes Are So Hot Right Now. Actually I wish Julia Roberts would wear this, too. Maybe they should BOTH wear it and then stage a mighty duel on the Oscars stage. My money is on Streep. Her gaze will wilt Julia before she even gets going.

Intellectually, yes, I acknowledge that this looks a bit like Renee might have repurposed a tablecloth, as if in the green room she realized that she had not gone big and might thus have to go home. But I don’t care, because it’s so EFFECTIVE. Let’s see it from the side:

She is WORKING those dramatic linens. I wish I had been as captivated by her anthem. She’s a renowned opera singer, but she made me nuts by doing that thing I complain about every time: She didn’t hit the note at the end. She went up to the note that people think is more impressive but is actually supposedly easier to hit and hold, which is why everyone does it. But she is Renee freaking Fleming and she can hold any note she wants, so why didn’t she just sing the national anthem and not the rewritten version? She even added another line at the end so she could go even higher, which… it’s not your song, guys. The national anthem isn’t something you cover; it’s something you perform. I just wish people would do it as written.

When we went to the outdoor L.A. Kings hockey game at Dodger Stadium, they bumped regular performer Pia Toscano (an American Idol runner-up) in favor of Jordin Sparks (an American Idol winner); Sparks did the easier note, whereas Pia always sings it properly and KILLS IT, and I really wish they’d stuck with their usual girl so people could see how it’s done. I know it’s harder to sing outside in the cold and blah blah blah if ANYONE can hit “land of the FREEEEEE” and hold it and make your heart cry, shouldn’t it be her? IN SUM: I hate it when people go fullRalph Lauren all over “The Star Spangled Banner.” Just keep it simple; it’s so stirring, and frankly more impressive, that way. Okay, rant over. Sorry, Renee. I didn’t mean to step all over your dress. You wore it like a boss.

[Photo: Getty]