I guess The Widow Longoria — who has apparently come out of mourning, at least temporarily — is at Cannes as a “L’Oreal Brand Ambassador,” which must be a terribly taxing gig a la coal mining or defusing roadside bombs discovered next to an orphanage.

She’s certainly dressed for the part. This is major, and I think she’s kind of working it.

I am not TOTALLY sold on the bodice, but I’m sold enough on the rest of it that I think I can talk myself into it. Honey, why don’t you look like this at the Emmys? Why doesn’t ANYONE look like this at the Emmys? Are the Emmys turning less formal on us? Am I about to trip and fall into a contemplative wormhole about the nature of the Emmys? I need to just stop typing.