Apparently Mariah Carey featured on last night’s NFL kickoff telecast, and she was in costume as what I imagine Donald Trump’s living room to be.
Sweet, merciful glitter. (Not to be confused with sweet, merciful Glitter, which is somehow simultaneously neither of those things yet also both of those things.) A mullet of gold and tawny gossamer cape-wings! CAPE-WINGS. I have never been so giddy over a hyphen sandwich in my life as that one. It’s a gift from on high. If this is the sort of thing we’re in for during her American Idol judging tenure, I am SO in. Especially if it inspires a jealous J.Lo to reappear and attempt to establish fugstasmagorical dominance once more. I would love to see that fug-off. Please, universe, give us this much.