The short version of THIS post is: I WANT to love it.

But I have almost never gone with the short version, ever, so why start now? I love Laverne on Orange Is The New Black — I’m only two episodes into the new season, so no spoilers here, except that she’s had limited work so far and yet she still repeatedly brings so much character and charm just to a handful of lines. There is something soothing about her, too. If I were in women’s prison, I would be in her hairdresser chair ALL THE TIME and basically then be her little groupie, because she would Get-A-Grip me through my sentence AND keep my grays hidden to boot. HOWEVER: The dress. I like the color but I’m not sure all that tulle swaddling is my personal cup of tea, nor are those kinds of dresses that stop what they’re doing two-thirds of the way down and then just HANG the rest of the way. Fug Nation, I place Laverne here in your tenderest of hands. What would you do to make this ASTONISHING and not merely pretty good? And how CUTE is her clutch, and how glad are we that she does not need a bracelet? So much to love here; let’s play fantasy stylist on the gown to make it perfect.

[Photo: Getty]

Tags: Laverne Cox