Young readers, two millions years ago, before cable TV, we ancient creatures would occasionally own a television which would go habitually wonky. The picture would fritz out, and there were two ways, usually, to fix it:

a) fiddle with the antennae; this included putting aluminum foil on them to…I don’t know. Get better reception? This also sometimes included holding onto the antennae in VERY SPECIFIC WAYS — like with your leg sticking out and your other hand on your head, using your body as conduit for TV waves.

b) bang on top of the TV until it worked again. This sounds barbaric, but it was also EFFECTIVE. (I also had a car when I was in college wherein I had to do this with the radio, too. Just BANG on the dashboard and BOOM! I could suddenly hear Rob Thomas’s “Smooth” in all its glory again. I’m sure I looked insane, driving down the street, aggressively wacking my dashboard, but…you know. I needed my tunes.)

If someone had come up to me and said, “you have twenty-four hours. Please make a suit that expressed sartorially what a TV with a wonkus picture feels like,” this is would I would create. Perhaps someone should wrap some tin foil around her purse and see if that helps?

[Photo: Photo by Abel Fermin/WWD/REX/Shutterstock]