RITA ORA: You guys. My outfit slowly becomes sheer as you scroll down with your eyes. But I’m having a GOSSIP MOMENT so NO ONE CARES. I am LIVING!
ASHLEY BENSON: That’s nice. Meanwhile I look like my Pretty Little Lies character just got into a fight with a masked stalker.
ASHLEE SIMPSON: Wasn’t your show Pretty Little Liars?
ASHLEY: I mean, if you want to be exact about it, yeah.
EVAN ROSS: It’s Common!
ASHLEE: It’s not THAT common, there are only two shows with those words.
EVAN ROSS: No, Ashlee! COMMON!
ASHLEY: Sure, Ashley is a common enough name, I guess?
ASHLEE: But we spell it differently, kind of like the difference between Pretty Little LIES and Pretty Little LIARS.
ASHLEY: Touché.
RITA: Why are we not talking about my gossip moment? I am dating Taika Waititi and maybe having occasional threesomes with Tessa Thompson!
ASHLEY: Dang, it’s Common!
RITA: … Is it? Well, I suppose in Hollywood, probably, but…
EVAN ROSS: Listen, I’m happy for you, but I’m a little worried people don’t recognize me enough because I’m not wearing one of my hats.
RITA: Oh, that’s Common!
EVAN: Is it? I mean, I’m famous! I’m Diana Ross’s son!
ASHLEE: And he was in that thing!
EVAN: The United States vs. Billie Holliday?
ASHLEE: You weren’t in that.
EVAN: I was.
ASHLEE: I meant that other thing, with the people.
EVAN: Oh, the last two Hunger Games movies?
ASHLEE: No no, something you were IN.
EVAN: I AM IN THOSE.
ASHLEE: Nuh-uh!!! No way!
EVAN: WE WERE MARRIED AT THE TIME.
RITA: Guys, nobody cares. IT’S COMMON. LOOK. STANDING THERE.
COMMON: Hi! It’s me, Common! I’m starting a service where I will pop up into any random group’s photograph and smile, and look happy to be there, and it will instantly elevate your entire Instagram page. It’s called Common Bonds. Try it out! Say cheese and look lively.
ASHLEY: I’m trying, but if I’d known I was going to meet you, I’d have worn a better outfit.
COMMON: Yeah. That’s common.
[Photo: Getty]
