This was at some hotel fashion show — the kind of event where you’d expect, say, Jackie Taylor to go ham on some blow and embarrass Kelly in front of the other moms, but with actors instead of the PTA — and for some unfathomable reason, Emma Samms had to wave at people from inside some foliage. Maybe she’s… sitting on the other side of the planter and someone called out to her so she stood up and turned and waved? Or, and let’s decide this is true, the organizers took one look at her resume — General Hospital, The Colbys — and crafted an ode to soap operas’ favorite trick for concealing a pregnancy. Later maybe she got to CARRY one of the planters before setting it down and picking up a purse the size of Mars. And then maybe they recast her halfway through with an announcement over the PA system. Truly, it’s a mystery why I never had an event-planning career.

[Photo: Ron Galella Collection via Getty Images]