It would be one thing if Kesha, still in her PJs, realized with dread she was out of Diet Coke and threw on shoes to hit the closest bodega. But the presence of full-on Church tights — they look like what an eight-year old would wear to her First Communion — suggest that she did not; she clearly put the tights on first and then thought, “YES, today is the day my bloomers make their appearance.” She was so excited, she didn’t even button up her shirt. She looks like she’s about to play tennis in an old ad for Easy Spirits. Looks like a pump, feels like a sneaker.
But then, it seems, she got cold. Or it rained. Both?
Fine, okay. A coat. That’s the fastest thing to reach for, right? I mean, pants would take five seconds, but maybe she needed to save three precious seconds.
And then slippers. Those look cozy. But you know what’s faster than hollowing out two busbees and jamming your legs into them? PANTS. Real, honest-to-god pants. They’re real, and they’re spectacular. And not for nothing, they’re WAY more portable than busby boots.
