Hey, look! It’s a Guy Ritchie movie produced by Michael Bay starring One Hot Lady and a Whole Bunch of Dudes! This one has a name that sounds like it’s ten other different mediocre movies smashed together into one, possibly making most people think, “oh, I’ve already seen that one” when they zip past it on Netflix later this year, even though it’s an historically accurate nickname for the subject matter. (It’s based on a book originally titled Churchill’s Secret Warriors: The Explosive True Story of the Special Forces Desperadoes of WWIIwhich is also a mouthful. I feel confident this title was the subject of a lot of marketing meetings.) And here we’ve got Henry Cavill, who looks weirdly like his own wax figure; Henry Golding, who looks normal but also a bit waxen, as if the men in this movie have all kinda forgotten how arms work; Eiza Gonzalez, who looks pretty, overdressed, and cold (none of which is her fault); Cary Elwes, who looks VERY COLD and like he just ran out of his hotel wearing only a tee shirt and his overcoat because it caught on fire; Babs Olusanmokun, who looks 70s cool; Hero Fiennes-Tiffin, who looks like his uncle Joseph; and Alex Pettyfer. I look forward to watching two-thirds of this movie on a plane.

 (Photo by Max Cisotti/Dave Benett/WireImage)