Model Lily Cole here is now being credited as “actress Lily Cole.”

Much as these pants spent a great deal of time being labeled, in my head, a skirt. When I happened upon this photo — playing the role of the Zapruder Film in the grand story of  Is This A Hideous Skirt or REALLY REALLY HIDEOUS PANTS???!?! — proving that tragically, we are looking at pants, I must confess to you that I actually said, “oh SHIT” aloud to my empty apartment.  I mean….okay. First of all, those pants are like John Audubon’s wet dream married to the wallpaper at the Kate Spade store and then BLOWN UP into what are essentially the silk gaucho pants they hand to you when you descend to one of the less fiery circles of hell. And that is all very very distracting. So distracting that you might not notice that the rest of her looks like she’s running late for Variable Topics in Comparative Literature. Which is a fine look when you are, in fact, late for Comparative Literature but not so much when you’re on the red carpet at a film festival.