An Open Letter to Saoirse Ronan:
You are not at a place in your life where needs require you pop up places wearing a festive St. Patty’s Day wine bag. This is a dress for a sassy old lady or an actress who’s concealing her pregnancy because it’s too soon to tell people, or, at least, People. You have plenty of time to swan out in this thing. Ergo, I counsel patience.
PS: Say hi to Ralph Fiennes for us! And if this is part of Slytherin for Kohl’s, tell him to slow his roll.