You know what? I really don’t know how she does it.

And by “it,” I mean, “uses the bathroom without irrevocably soiling the tulle ponytail coming out of her tailbone.” Because even if you scoop it  up in your arms, eventually it has to go back to the floor, and therein lies the cesspool sometimes. If you’re thinking perhaps this post means I’ve used too many public bathrooms this week, you are RIGHT. Excuse me while I reapply my hand sanitizer.