Good old Cher Horowitz. I’m certain Clueless didn’t invent the term “she’s a total Monet” but that IS how I was introduced to it, so I will always think of Alicia Silverstone when I use it in my head. As I am here:

From afar, Diane Kruger’s outfit is her usual triple-take — you know, the kind of thing where you find yourself giving it three hard looks before realizing you don’t hate it and might even be swayed by its quirky charms.

But then I added a fourth take when I saw it up close, and that was one too many:

Because suddenly there’s a slit, and it’s REALLY HIGH, and I can’t always tell when I’m seeing leg and when I’m seeing skirt, and thus when to avert my eyes versus when it’s safe to scowl at it. “IS THAT YOUR THIGH? is a game show for Bill Hader to host on SNL, not for me to play with my own eyeballs. And the efforts to tie in the blouse colors to the skirt seem less clever than wonky and hazardous, and suddenly the belt that defines her waist feels superfluous, and that fabric looks like the thick kind of wrapping paper that only comes from places that do it for you…

And then again with the walking and the slit and WHY are crotches such cavalier gifts these days? I feel like suddenly I’m a 1950s mother stressing over how long her daughter parked with that Biff Tannen boy.

[Photos: Bauer-Griffin]