No one is more pleased than we are to see Leighton Meester apparently exiting that hideous pop-star phase. The world did not need another Katy Perry, for one thing, and also Leighton is the most talented person on Gossip Girl and all that spandex and Pro Tools was making her ridiculous. So heave with me a sigh of relief.
Did you heave it? Was it nice? Good. Now buckle in, because we have a decision to make:
Pro: It’s not hideous!
Con: It looks like it’s sticking its shiny white tongue out at me.
Pro: It’s retro and funky.
Con: It’s SO retro that she may have borrowed it from Betty White, who thought it was a blouse.
Pro: Betty White is all the rage now, haven’t you heard?
Con: Girl, please, I didn’t need a patronizing display of affection from Hollywood for Sassy Elderly Ladies Who Look Like Angels But Can Dish The Filth to tell me that Betty White was awesome. I’ve known since the ’80s.
Pro: But aren’t you glad she’s getting work still?
Pro: That’s not a con.
Con: These posts NEVER end in actual cons, haven’t you been paying attention?
Pro: How about the shoes? So… kicky?
Con: HA! You’re out of pros.
Pro: I can take us in for a close-up, though:
Con: Dude, did she rob a carnation store?
Pro: Those are CHRISTIN LOUBOUTIN shoes, pet.
Con: So? They’re like a bad Valentine.
Pro: Coming out against a Loub is like admitting you hate puppies, or that you think God and Satan are secret drinking buddies. It’s SACRELIGE.
Con: Well, hang onto your goblet of wine, then, because I’ve seen more expensive-looking flowers on the wrists of Prom-bound sixteen-year olds.
Pro: We’d best put this to a vote ere I pass out and hit my head on the toilet and accidentally invent time travel: