Or, as I call her now, Mrs David “You Are So Precious To Me” Silver — wait, except, does that make Megan Fox the new Tori Spelling? Something about that doesn’t quite track.

2010 Teen Choice Awards Press Room - Los Angeles

For one thing, it would be weird for Tori to have a tattoo of Marilyn Monroe in the approximate place where Dean McDermott has a tattoo of Tori. Like, I think that if Tori gets a person’s face tattooed on her arm, she is contractually obligated to get Dean’s. Or, I guess, David Silver’s. Wow, thinking about this too hard is sending me down some kind of post-modern tattoo rabbit hole, so let’s get to chit-chatting about her dress. Or dress/skirt. Whatever it is. I have to admit, I rather like it: it’s nice to see someone wearing something that’s NOT just a standard issue cocktail dress, even if I happen to LIKE standard issue cocktail dresses. Kind of like how if you have a cheeseburger five nights in a row, you might really want a salad on the sixth night, without taking anything away from your love of the cheeseburger.