You probably remember the above pants, a.k.a. the DiCapritrou, the ones that are a shrine to Leo in Romeo + Juliet. But in case you missed a chance to click through Keke Palmer’s Instagram account, you might not know that she’s waging a pretty strong Fug Madness campaign right now via a lot of street-style photos that slipped past many, many radars — things she’s also clearly doing to court the flashbulbs, though to what ends, I could not begin to imagine.
In the interests of prepping you for next March’s Clash of the Fug Titans, here is some of what you’re probably not seeing.
I should note first that she was talking up how freezing it was when she wore this stuff. This insanity reminds me of Lady Victoria Hervey meets Rihanna meets that time Lindsay Lohan designed leggings. Crowned with orthopedic Croc-Keds hybrids. It’s an astounding, astonishing melange.
I genuinely think those socks might be legwarmers made of neoprene. They’re wetsuits for her shins.
And here we have nylons for her arms. I’m not calling them gloves because they’re transparent, so I can’t imagine how much chill they’re actually banishing. And they’re going to snag in about two minutes. Pro tip, Keke: clear nail polish at the edges of the ladder.
Oh, and what a subtle choker. Perhaps she should just sell that neck space to advertisers.
I linked to this in the Leo Pants post. It’s Leo Boobs. It’s Brameo, oh, Brameo. And in case you were curious…
… yes, it was apparently too chilly for a Leokini.
Her waist-belt and neck-belt match, which is… nearly as intense as the Kardashian-level interest in see-through beige shirts.
Okay, in fairness, some of what’s up there is really cute. Like the shoes. Maybe even the coat. I think it’s the sensory overload of it all together that’s throwing me off.
She also looks rather fabulous here. The orange lining in that jacket is majestic. I do think this is what Tim Gunn would call A Lot Of Look, and I don’t totally understand some of the markings that might purport to be zippers but are in strange places. But I’m going to give her the groove factor here.
Are those bungee cords, or tape measures? Or bungee tape measures?
Totally acceptable, and even cute. FOR JUNE. Please look at what EVERYONE ELSE IN THIS PHOTO is wearing. And how little of it you can even see because of all the coats and scarves and general anti-freezing mechanisms being deployed.
If you cinch a hoodie, does it become a dress? These are the existential questions 2016 has brought to us all.
This one might be fine too, though. At the very least it’s the color of a holiday fir, which feels more… thought-out.
… I like her shoes? Seriously, though, is Rihanna feeling a tremor in the force? I feel like she is more than inspiring a lot of these ensembles. Are they making a movie of her life, in which Keke is angling to star? Actually… that would be really good casting, so maybe there is a method to Keke’s madness here after all.