Consider these two more entries in the continuing canon of Whatever Happened To Salma Hayek?, the story of a woman who has either gone off the deep end in her insistence upon cleaving to her husband’s clothing brands, or who never had great taste to begin with but we just never noticed because she’s Salma Hayek. The first dress, above, has potential but also a distracting set of wings, about two-thirds as much room in the bodice as is needed. It’s like trying to fit a family of five into a loft: not enough personal space, way too much jostling, and ultimately everyone ends up bruised. The necklace is a wondrous thing to behold, though, and it just makes me wish she had brought down the hammer and demanded something custom. Or, if this was custom, something made to her actual real measurements, of which she should be very proud because her figure is amazing.
Before that, she trotted this out at the premiere of the Usain Bolt movie.
All aboard the Yuletown Merrymas Train! They’re serving freshly mulled wine and selling ornaments cross-stitched by little old ladies, before depositing you at Santa’s Village upon a pile of man-made snow that tastes like Clorox. Which just means you need to drink more mulled wine to get the taste out, so… yeah, okay, I’ll pay for that ticket.