Jean-Claude is promoting his new Amazon series, Jean-Claude Van Johnson, a parody of himself of sorts; he plays, per the New York Times, “a broken-down action star who makes terrible films — like a kung-fu-filled remake of Huckleberry Finn — as cover for his real gig as a lethal black-ops agent, code named Jean-Claude Van Johnson.” And so it’s only natural and normal that he would do it in front of a GIGANTIC statue of himself doing the iconic midair split move he has perfected over the years. Grantland (RIP) even once did a story ranking his 15 best, and that’s well worth a read:
Why Did He Do the Splits? Because he wanted to pull off what has to be considered the most egregious, most glorious showboat move of all. Could you even imagine what’d happen if Tom Brady tossed a 52-yard touchdown bomb in the first game of the 2013 season and then, in lieu of his traditional fist pump, dropped down into the splits? The genitals of everyone on planet Earth would melt into oblivion, probably.
Given that, there’s no way Tom Brady can be anything but disappointing now.
