Hey, y’all:

I can’t tell y’all how honored I am that I won this interesting stabby crystal thing that I’m going to have to hide from my kids so they don’t accidentally murder me with it. Was this because of that awesome ice sculptures class I took about at the Mandalay Bay last week? The instructor did tell me that I had a grasp of the nuances of ice that surpassed all human understanding and then he said I was an ice-sculpting prodigy and I have seriously no idea what any of that means but it seemed good and so I gave him the tickets to my show that he wanted and I guess he really was right because look at this thing! ANYWAY, we should probably talk about my outfit. It’s my salute to frost and it’s how I’m telling all y’all out there in that polar vortex thing that happened this week or whenever that was that I am thinking of you and how cold you are and stuff, I guess. I’m a humanitarian now. And an ice sculptress. OMG AN ICE SCULPTRESS WHO CARES ABOUT POLAR THINGS TOTALLY MAKES SENSE. SUBTEXT AND STUFF.

STAY WARM,

Britney!

[Photo: Getty]