Hey, who am I to look a gift premiere in the maw? My kids have seen all the ads for this on YouTube, and so they wanted to watch the original Space Jam the other weekend — and I know this will shock you deeply, but even despite my low expectations, that is not a good movie. I was particularly thrown off by the presence of a montage, set to a Barry White song, of NBA players who’ve lost their talent being asked things like, “Have you lost your skills… in OTHER areas?” Michael Jordan was obviously not going to be anything but a block of wood, but the Looney Tunes weren’t even funny, and that’s their ONLY JOB. So. We’ll see. At least LeBron is a better actor than MJ, and at least this has Zendaya… but, not in the flesh, sadly.

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