The last time Jennifer went to the Oscars, two years ago, she also wore Versace and it was ALSO sheer enough at the bottom to call into question the sanctity of her privacy. (She also chewed on Emma Stone, an activity it does not appear that she tried to repeat.) She tightly clasped her hands over her crotch the entire time she was delivering this “In Memoriam” intro, which read like she was tense about flashing people, although it may also simply have been emotion. Because in this photo…


… you can tell that the top appears to protect everything. Also, I totally fell down a wormhole of trying to figure out if she and Bill Paxton had worked together, because she had to stop herself to get through the bit about him, and per IMDb they hadn’t — which has no bearing on whether she’d ever met Bill or liked him; I was just curious what, if any, professional experiences they’d shared. It’s also possible she was weepy in advance about some of the people that were in the montage. (Or those that weren’t. I agree with Patricia Arquette that it sucks Alexis was left out. Especially now. Alexis was not just a performer, but a pioneer.) (And I assume you saw that one woman’s photo was included even though she’s still alive? It was supposed to be of her colleague, so not only did this woman have to tell everyone she’s not dead, but she was gutted that her longtime friend didn’t get her due.)

Anyway, regardless, the “In Memoriam” was a weep-a-thon, and wait, where was I? Right:

Jennifer Aniston

This dress is a lot better when you don’t realize how much you can see. So once more, we find ourselves wandering down What If Boulevard, which intersects with Hey Maybe If You’d Just Lined It Then We Wouldn’t Be Having This Conversation Street, before finding itself at a T-intersection with Headdesk Avenue.

[Photo: Getty]