I love you Viola, but I don’t know if this worked.

THE PROS: The hair is great! The color of this dress is great! And it looks much better in photos that it did on the red carpet.

THE CONS: It goes crazy at the bottom,  like it’s a remnant from a slasher movie about a killer with really aggressive tastes in evening gowns. Like if Heather and I went psychotic. “I hate this….AND HERE’S WHAT I’M GOING TO DO WITH IT.”

THE GOOD NEWS: You didn’t win wearing something that was, ultimately, a bit mediocre . But you’ll win eventually. It’s going to happen. And next time, you can skip the Vera Wang.