Serena Williams never goes to the Oscar telecast, after which a lot of attendees change into a new outfit for the parties. So she just tends to wear something different to each shindig, presumably as a way of getting in all the clothes-hopping fun with none of the cringe-worthy banter or rear numbness. First up is this coral number:

There is really nothing to this dress. It is practically begging everyone NOT to have an opinion of it. Only problem is, it’s so baggy that I have to conclude it’s at least one size too big. And therefore, the dress’s attempts to duck under the radar have failed, because I do have an opinion, and that opinion is: boo.

Fortunately, things were better at Elton John’s bash.

This is a hundred times better. I actually quite like it on its own merits. The coral sack up there just flat-out put my brain to sleep; at least this one, even if the main course is a dish of complaints about wanting to yank it up a few notches, there are some tasty side dishes I can focus on when I’m sick of the central protein. Also, can you tell I’m happy that Top Chef is on tonight? Yeah.