Nicole Kidman first worked with Zac Efron on 2012’s The Paperboy, in which they do not actually hook up, but he is in love with her and she — I’m not making this up — gets territorial about how she should be the one to urinate on his jellyfish stings. In this movie, Joey King plays the assistant to Efron’s spoiled movie star character, who turns out to be having a hot tryst with… Joey’s widowed mother, Nicole. Ideally this involves no urine, but whatever, you do you behind closed doors, Kidfron.
The odd thing about this synopsis is… I cannot muster up any interest in how it goes. Does it work out? Eh. Do Zac and Joey end up together? Meh. Does Joey quit? Do she and Nicole… I don’t know, and I can’t even finish that sentence. Joey’s out there becoming the umpteenth person to wear that Simone Rocha rack that a funeral home uses to dry flowers, TRYING to elicit a feeling, but then Nicole’s dress echoes my feelings about the project as a whole: It washes over me and fades into the background, instantly forgotten. This probably means I need to watch it for Drinks With Broads. The things I investigate. Sheesh.
