These pants are just evil:
Cloven-hooved, trident-carrying, mustache-twirling, forked-tongue-having, cape-wearing evil. Nearly as evil, in other words, as the stylist who told her that giant thigh-pleats are really hot right now, and that everyone’s in the market for pants that make you look like two airbags deployed from your kidneys. Abigail: you are young, but you’re still the boss of your own pants wardrobe. Condemn these to the internal flames of burning hellfire that they deserve.