ASHLEY OLSEN: Hey.
MARY-KATE OLSEN: Hey.
ASHLEY: I’m depressed.
ASHLEY: Our sister is so perky.
MARY-KATE: I know. She’s so charming.
ASHLEY: People love her.
MARY-KATE: She’s making us look good.
ASHLEY: Because she’s wearing our clothes and not looking all derelicte?
MARY-KATE: Or like a granny.
ASHLEY: Or like the president of Sad Caftans Unlimited?
MARY-KATE: More than I can say for the two of us.
ASHLEY: I know. Why do you think I’m so depressed?