In trying to unearth an archival photo dated on a Friday the 13th in November, I stumbled upon this photo that struck cold horror into my heart. I am not a doll fan. Sitting in a room full of unblinking zombie husks would be my actual Friday the 13th installment. They will wait for Santa to leave, and then one eye will twitch. One head will turn just-so. And then the whole phalanx of plastic Satans will surge.

What would you call the movie of this photo? The Last Noel? The Twelve Dolls of Christmas? A Flay in a Manger? Silver Hells? We Are Santa’s Hellves? Or just Xmas, but the X on the poster is gigantic and written in blood?

[Photo: Getty]