This is WSJ’s eighth Innovators Awards, and I assume people won things for being clever, but as of this writing Google didn’t turn up anything but the 2017 list, which included Reese Witherspoon — for “innovating” in Hollywood with female-drive projects — and Raf Simons, for creating new and creative ways to ruin stalwart fashion brands. Whoops maybe that wasn’t why. Anyhoo: I assume, based on the attendees, that this year’s winners are Chrissy and John for inventing Headband of the Day, Channing Tatum for creating some kind of nuclear sandwich, and Lupita Nyong’o for creating a moisturizer that will just give me her face. Right? Yeah, those seem true.