When it comes to celebrity appearances, we often talk about whether they have sufficiently taken into account how much or little of an outfit you’ll see. For example, when presenting an Oscar, yes, you get the full-body shot when you’re walking to the mic, but they cut to a waist-up shot pretty quickly; panel discussions and Zoom chats amplify that, because you’re ONLY seen seated, and so those are the photos that will live forever. Kylie Minogue obviously gave this a passing thought, but I think she forgot that a 9 a.m. talk show is a little early for such explosive cocktail weirdness. I am barely looking at her face, because I’m trying to figure out if she made this herself after a late-night insomniac trip to the hardware store. It’s as if she hopes to turn this into a shower curtain after the cameras switch off. Then again, she sang that she can’t get me out of her head, so perhaps with this perplexing piece she’s simply trying to return the favor.