As you may know, Katie Holmes played Jackie Kennedy in a miniseries about the Kennedys that aired on the Reelz Channel a couple of years ago. It apparently did super well for them — Americans love programming about the Kennedys, much as we enjoy any TV show about people in olden times who are anachronistically buff — and they’ve made a sequel, which I assume picks up post-assassination. I just keep thinking how IRRITATED Katie Holmes must have been reading all of Natalie Portman’s good reviews for Jackie, knowing that she had (a) already played that part, and (b) was in the middle of doing it again. Obviously, TV and feature films are very different; actors play the same role all the time; and a rising tide, as they say, lifts all boats, and if Jackie did well, people being newly interested in the subject matter could only help Katie’s project. But because I am a petty petty person, I always imagine that others are equally petty and that, at some point, Katie strolled into her living room and admitted to her Secret Boyfriend Jamie Foxx that she knows it doesn’t reflect well on her, but she’s really glad Natalie didn’t win the Oscar, and she just had to say that out loud. At which point Jamie would look up he’s doing a jigsaw puzzle with Suri and say something supportive, and Katie would walk back into the other room to go back to reading the internet. My only question is why Secret Boyfriend Jamie Foxx didn’t tell her not to wear this vaguely musty vintage nightie out of the house.

[Photo: Getty Images]