Ah yes, the era of the transparent pants, a short but important burst of nonsense that started with Vanessa Hudgens and Coachella, and mercifully — I think — expired shortly after Jessica Biel took them for a spin. At the time, we would joke about whether we would ever wear these even under extreme duress, and usually squawk, “NO!” Because, look at them. They’re hotpants with a weak curtain. I keep accidentally typing “notpants,” and that also feels true. But at this point in time, if the question becomes, “The universe decrees that you can safely go out to dinner and do one Covid-banned thing you’ve missed, BUT you have to wear these pants the entire time,” a lot of us would reply, “SEND IN THE TROU.”


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