“HOLA LOVERS. I am forty-five years old. Would you like to see what forty-five looks like?

“But, psst. This is not just what forty-five looks like. It is what personal trainers and young nubile dancer boyfriends and juice cleanses and veganizings and being fed unicorn blood for five years by a vampire mystic ex-husband and selling a pair of my shoes to the devil and buying eight different stomach machine thingies from late-night television and sitting next to Harry Connick Jr. and diets where you do not chew and stylists and THE DANCE and and genetics and water and THE LOPEZ and cryogenic magic chambers and beds made from organic grass-fed macrobiotic love looks like. But let us just call that forty-five because that is so hard to fit in a magazine headline.”


  • Hot damn! (27%, 1,348 Votes)
  • Hot damn, even though that is not really a dress so much as a body-glitter and a curtain. (63%, 3,140 Votes)
  • Damn. (10%, 522 Votes)

Total Voters: 5,010

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[Photo: Getty]