“HOLA LOVERS. Welcome to my golden birthday. I wore gold, I looked gold, I am gold. Some people say, ‘You cannot spell ‘gold’ without ‘old,’ and to them I say, ‘SHUT IT, MARK.’ In the words of a life coach who has molded my soul: Ladies and gentlemen, I am Jennifer Lopez. I’m proud to say that I am 50 years old. I’m not one of those gals who’s afraid to tell her real age, and I like to kick!, stretch!, and KICK! I’m 50! 50 years old! 50 years old. Not afraid to hide my age. 50!
“Also, I am going to live to be 100, just because maybe then I will finally know what it feels like to look 45. See you there. I will be in the diamond leotard.”