NE-YO: What’s up, Fug Nation! See my shirt? I AM IN YOU. Non-sexually.

J.LO: HOLA LOVERS. What, me, mischievous? Never! It is pure coincidence that I am the only person here wearing no black at all. It is not MY fault that you cannot look anywhere else but straight into my spots. Ne-Yo? NO-YO. Jenna Dewan? Jenna De-whaaaat. So silly. And Derek Hasselhough? Give me a break. I do not think even he believes that he is a real boy.

JENNA DEWAN: My friend texted me something that said, “Keep Calm And Carry On With Your Divorce Bra,” so that’s basically what I’m going.

DEREK HOUGH: TONIGHT, WE BOWL.

J.LO: I love it when a plan comes together, and when I say plan, I mean accident of the fates caused by a universe that knows only one love: LOPEZ.

[Photo: Stewart Cook/REX/Shutterstock]