Did you remember that J.Lo wrote a deeply sincere and cringey song about Ben back when they dated the first time? Taylor Swift has it right: Don’t get achingly specific if you can help it, because love songs are like misguided tattoos, except that J.Lo can’t paper over “Dear Ben” and pretend it always said “Dean Bench” and was about her favorite headmaster. Maybe she was determined to close this loop so that history would call her clairvoyant. Behold:
I just can’t control myself
I can’t be with no one else
It seems I’m addicted to the way you like to touch me
I don’t think they understand
Why I love at your command
From the words you speak
So deep our bodies meet, I had to have youI love you, you’re perfect
A manifestation of my dreams
You make my body feel
About a million different thingsI think God made you for me
A mix of passionate fidelities
Baby, you’re so complete
I write this song to let you know
That you will always be to me
My lust, my love, my man, my child, my friend, and my kingI love you, you’re perfect
A manifestation of my dreams
You make my body feel
About a million different things
There’s no way I’d leave you
It’s just not a reality
Sometimes I feel like I’m
Living in a fantasy
Is there anything LESS sexy than writing a song about how hot you are for your partner, and within it calling him “my child”? I think not.
