LOOK AT THIS CUTE NOODLE-MUFFIN! I think he looks so much like Harry, especially in the full-family photo, where he also looks mildly startled that all of this is still happening. This black-and-white shot is very lovely of them — although I must confess that before I read its Informative Caption, which told me that it was snapped at the Windsor Castle rose garden, I thought they were at a race track. There is no better way to curry favor with the Queen, you guys! You should have done that.

Anyway, little Master Archie has been duly christened, with his mystery godparents (I’ve decide they are Claire Foy, Olivia Colman, and Helen Mirren and the the reason the Sussexes are keeping it private is because they realized it’s weird if everyone knows that they’re obsessed with The Crown), and sans Her Majesty and Philip (which is not that weird, she didn’t come to Louis’s christening either), and everyone looked perfectly nice:

Royal Baby Archie Mountbatten-Windsor Christening in Windsor, United Kingdom - 06 Jul 2019

CAMILLA: I always look like this, although on the range of Bread Plate to Giant Serving Platter, my hat is more Salad Dish today.

CHARLES: I, too, always look like this. This is the finest of my blue suits, however.

DORIA: I look FANTASTIC — I am probably the best-dressed person here; look at my glorious hat!! And my brooch! It’s very regal! — and I’m really pleased that Kate and I decided to coordinate.

HARRY AND WILLIAM’S AUNT, LADY JANE FELLOWES: Admit it. For a moment, you thought I was Glenn Close. And have you ever seen me and Glenn Close in the same room together? Sit with that.

HARRY AND WILLIAM’S OTHER AUNT, LADY SARAH McCORQUODALE: Fun fact: I also briefly dated Charles. This family is complicated! Anyhoodle, I look absolutely appropriate.

WILLS: I shouldn’t have eaten that whole bag of sour gummies.

KATE: Hello! LOOK AT MY FEET! I am NOT wearing beige shoes! I am bringing VISUAL INTEREST! Also! Another hatband because I CAN’T stop! You guys, what if I’m sort of eccentric now? Also, I did not skip leg day! Anyway, this has been extremely fun but also I need to get this photo snapped real quick because I can hear Charlotte yelling in the next room and I’m pretty sure I smell burning and I know she’s super interested in fire right now, so let’s do this, everyone! Let’s take this picture!

MEGHAN: I look great, although in the grand tradition of royal christenings, ANYTHING could be happening on the front of my dress and none of you would know!

ARCHIE: I am EXTREMELY ADORABLE and also fairly certain that you are all being quite ridiculous at the moment.

HARRY:  I really am quite, quite happy and proud, and also I’m pretty into this grey suit situation now. Excommunicate me from the Society of Blue Suit Enthusiasts, I don’t care!!!


(If you want to see other Official Royal Family Christening Photos, here are George’s and here are Charlotte’s [which are a hoot because George is being a little handful).)

[Photos: Photo by CHRIS ALLERTON HANDOUT/EPA-EFE/Shutterstock]