Intern George has worked for us for 12 years — I know this because Jessica hired him during my honeymoon, and math tells me that’s how long it has been — and he NEVER remembers to invite us to things. Not to his wedding, to his villa, to his AFI Lifetime Achievement Award… honestly, I’m starting to think he doesn’t even know we exist.

Side note: If  had to pick an A-lister to attend this, I’d have chosen Julia Roberts. WHERE WERE YOU, JULIA?  I freely admit I have been drinking my stash of Piper Heidsieck and a lot of red wine, to celebrate the last day of school, so maybe I just missed her being inside the event and Twitter will tell me tomorrow that she gave a remarkable speech. But as of right now I am shocked. SHOCKED. *** NOTE: Two seconds after I typed that, the Internet told me that she was supposed to honor him but was suddenly unable to make it. I’ve decided there is a tortured and illicit romantic history there, solely because I am a sucker for scandals.