Traditionally, I wake up on Monday morning after the Globes with a slew of posts from the telecast already done, and I start surfing the pics from the afterparties. Then I shriek, frantically download, and start moving things around, because somebody who wasn’t invited to the big dance inevitably showed up totally naked and I simply cannot wait another 24 hours before we get to talk about it. I even did a whole slideshow last year called “The Naked Wannabes.”

That didn’t really happen this year. Part of me is deeply sad; the other part hopes this means we’re waving goodbye to the S.S. See-Through and can move onto another Carnival boat. Shantel VanSanten here, from the late lamented One Tree Hill and also recently from half a season of The Flash, is the closest we came — and it bummed me out, because Shantel is so stunning, was hella friendly when we interviewed her at Fashion Week, and is totally cooler than this outfit. (She’s also a good actress and I can’t figure out why she isn’t a bigger deal yet. I said the same once about Abigail Spencer, who is now headlining Timeless… which killed Shantel VanSanten in the pilot, and I turned to my husband and said, “Shouldn’t she be more famous by now than Dead In The First Hour?”)

Anyway, this outfit basically only works as an audition piece for Dancing With The Stars. Otherwise, it’s just silly. Also, girl, you went to all that trouble and then punted on the shoes AND wore boring underwear? If we can’t get a real gown, then please, for the love of pants, someone find SOME way to inject wit or whimsy into these tired proceedings. Thanks in advance.

[Photo: Getty]