Seriously, this MUST have happened on Days, or General Hospital. With a Cassadine, or Marlena, or a DiMera, or Vivian Alamain. The person skulks around town in ENORMOUS hats, eavesdropping on everyone, miraculously not being seen, and for WEEKS we don’t know who it us until one day their loved one or their nemesis — the person they most OR least want to discover they’re alive — absently asks them to pass the coffee creamer. The camera pushes in on frantic, darting eyes, a held breath, a trembling hand, and we’re LIKE OH SHIT SHE’S BACK IT’S GOING TO GO DOWN NOW, and then… nothing happens, because these things take several months. I would like an entire soap opera of this. Just BRIMMING with people who are all back from the dead and don’t want anyone else to know, and are passing each other coffee creamer from underneath this hat.