It is a LOT of pressure to stand in front of a backdrop that has “THEIR FINEST” printed all over it, simply because it’s bound to make the casual observer wonder, “But IS IT her finest?” I would argue it is not. The makeup is entirely wrong for a crimson velvet suit, and I don’t think she’s gotten the best out of her pixie; it all combines to dull down her lovely face, which is a crime. But mostly, I can’t look at her in this Altuzarra without thinking she’s about to kick her feet and say, “Da-da da da-da-da, I… AM… your singing telegram.” Yet it’s worth noting that even as Jane Wiedlin lay expiring on the Clue mansion’s doorstep, her message lost to the sands of time, she had on better lipstick than this.

I appreciate the metallic shoes, though. Gemma is clearly having a moment with them:

Unfortunately she is also having a moment with an old shirt last worn on the high seas by a pirate’s nanny. I cannot get a handle on Gemma Arterton’s aesthetic — which is fine, to a point; people are allowed to try things. But she comes off a bit like she’s winging it every single time. I mean, this is unfortunate:

Weirder still, it’s by Michael Kors, and thus might be the dullest, most off-brand frock of his that I’ve seen in a while. It’s not even particularly commendable without the blouse lurking underneath like a bridge troll.

This version of the hair is a bit more reminiscent of when Anne Hathaway was successfully growing out her pixie:

It’s better, as is the lip, and the dress is… not bad? Erdem has committed fouler sins. I still think they too often veer between the busiest possible treatment of a fabric, and the boringest. This falls in the latter category, and I worry the neckline is fighting her a little.

And this is just… WHY. I think this team might need a new general manager.

[Photos: Getty]