Well. This could have gone better:

This dress would have been totally cute if someone hadn’t decided that it would be best served with a side order of boob pancake. Behold:

I sincerely just don’t even get this. Like, why anyone thought this looked good, or, indeed, why this even happened in the first place. It’s like — here’s an analogy drawn from my real life. I need a new chair for my living room. I’ve been looking for this new chair for like a REALLY long time, in part because I am super picky (surprise!) but also because it seems almost impossible to just find a good-looking chair that is just a chair. People keep trying to, like, REINVENT THE CHAIR and guess what? The chair doesn’t need reinventing. People will still buy a chair that is very attractive even if it’s not, like, telling a new chair story. The chair story I want to read goes like this: “this is a very attractive armchair. It’s also comfortable and costs less than $2000.” BUT NO. And this dress is kind of the same idea. Without the cut-outs, it’s totally cute. It’s a totally cute dress and she would look totally cute in it. The cut-outs are an aborted attempt to reinvent the bodice. SOMETHINGS DON’T NEED REINVENTION. SOMETIMES YOU CAN JUST LOOK GOOD.

Tags: Katy Perry