I can’t pay attention to you right now. My big rivalry game is tomorrow. I have incantations to perform. Here, read this:

The Hollywood Reporter’s review of Liz and Dick makes me SO EXCITED for it, Fug Nation! Allow me to quote! The movie is: “spectacularly bad,” “half train wreck, half SNL skit,” “Both an awful mess and an instant classic of unintentional hilarity,” and, finally, “it gets worse as it goes on, so in the right company with the right beverages, Liz & Dick could be unbearably hilarious toward the tail end of the 90-minute running time.” FUG NATION, I CAN’T WAIT.

– I love it when The Guardian takes on movie trailers — their piece about Hathaway’s accent in One Day is one of my favorite things ever — and this look at the new Miley Cyrus movie…is a must read. That movie ALSO looks like a GFY EVENT. (The Guardian)

The Colbert Report’s take on the Petraeus affair is amazing. Susan Lucci is involved. (Colbert Nation — video, obviously)

– Also video and also amazing: the dudes on ESPN’s NFL Kickoff dropped quotes from The Princess Bride into all of last week’s show. Clearly intentionally, but WHY? Maybe just to be awesome. (Jezebel)

– The formula for being Sexiest Man Alive. (Time)

– David Beckham and Harper Seven blowing bubbles. I CAN NOT WITH THESE TWO. (Lainey)


– Speaking of books, ALLEGEDLY, the failure of Pippa Middleton’s party planning book is totally embarrassing to Wills and Kate. I am sure Wills and Kate just feel bad that poor Pippa wrote a book that includes such revelatory suggestions as, “consider serving a turkey at Christmas.” Poor, poor Pippa. (Celebitchy)

In which Ann M. Martin names her 10 favorite Baby-sitters Club books. The list includes my personal favorite, Boy Crazy Stacey. (Entertainment Weekly)

– Oh my god. In Tokyo, there is a company that makes tiny action figures of YOU. I mean, not you personally in secret for some nefarious purpose. I mean, if you want one, you pay them and they make them and they are AWESOME. (Smithsonian)