First and foremost: TODAY IS HEATHER’S BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEATHER! I got you all these things to read:

– This is a lovely story about a community of nuns that also happens to be releasing an album. I find nuns very interesting. (NPR)

– You probably want to see Prince William giving a side-eye to a falcon. (Socialite Life)

– Or revisit some of these Kate Middleton looks. (Socialite Life)

– The wonderful Alamo Drafthouse in Austin has a new pre-film informercial in which Shailene Woodley and Miles Teller discuss what will happen if you text during the movie.Watch the whole thing. It’s worth it. (Vulture)

– Sandra Oh is leaving Grey’s Anatomy and we’re all unhappy about this turn of events. Pajiba does a great job explaining why Cristina Yang is the best. I mean, I think we can all agree that the one true couple we’re all really invested in on that show — if you, like me and Heather, are still watching it despite yourselves — is Cristina and Meredith. They do platonic love on that show so much better than romantic. (Pajiba)

– You’ve surely read some of the commotion surrounding the launch of Bustle — you guys, it’s a website for ladies! Because we don’t HAVE any! — but this was one of the smartest takes on what went wrong. (Flavorwire)

– Apparently, Gwyneth Paltrow was irritating in the Hamptons over the weekend. Color me stunned. (Lainey Gossip)

Fashion inspired by kick-ass lady heroines. In case you woke up this morning wondering where you could get oxblood Buffy pants or giant awesome Foxy Brown earrings, which, let’s be honest: you probably did. (Who What Wear)

The 90s are back. (Elle)

– The Huntington Library in San Marino, where I spent many an afternoon as a youth, found some cake. Some really old cake. Some REALLY OLD CAKE. Want a piece? (And an update on what they’re doing with it, and another places that also have ancient foodstuffs.) (The Huntington Tumblr)

– This dates from the beginning of summer and I was wrong not to bring it to you then: Famous People Wearing Sunglasses (hilariously, this slideshow refers to Phil Spector as “very cool music producer Phil Spector.” Um, and batshit crazy MURDERER, you guys). (Harper’s Bazaar)

– The folks at Previously.TV imagine what we may read in Jason Priestley’s upcoming memoirs. (Previously.TV)

Here’s Benedict Cumberbatch’s Vogue spread, because I know what you like. (Celebitchy)

– This dude in Japan made over 20,000 prank calls to the Japanese 911 before they came over to his convenience store and arrested him. (Time)