Kimberley Walsh, formerly of Girls Aloud, is one of those people whose Wikipedia page is full of hilarities:
- In 2011, Walsh starred in something called Horrid Henry: The Movie as something called Prissy Polly.
- Walsh was born in Bradford, a fact much, much more hilarious when you realize I misread it as “Walsh was born in BAGHDAD.” I created such a more interesting backstory for her when I thought her family escaped from Iraq at some point. It was kind of like Argo.
- Next month, Walsh releases her debut solo album. It is called Centre Stage despite the fact that it tragically has NOTHING TO DO WITH PETER GALLAGHER’S EYEBROWS.
- In 2000 Walsh had a role in the television series This Is Personal: The Hunt for the Yorkshire Ripper. But, sadly, not as said Ripper.
- “On 8 June 2006, Walsh publicly apologised for smoking cannabis after being caught on camera smoking a spliff. She immediately owned up to it when questioned about the photo, which was taken on 31 December 2005, whilst she was attending a friend’s party. She told The Sun that she had got caught up in the moment and was deeply sorry, and that she realised what she did was wrong, especially since she is in a position where young fans look up to her. However, it was reported on 9 June 2006 that Walsh’s father, John, denied that she had ever smoked cannabis, and that she was just holding a rolled up cigarette that was not even lit. He also claimed that Victoria Newtonat The Sun pressured Walsh into apologising for something that she had not done, threatening that if she did not then Newton would make the story worse” SCANDALE!!!
- And, eventually, someone will update it to reflect what’s happening here. Namely, that she once hit her head on the toilet and woke up laboring under the impression that she was Alexis Carrington Colby for well over a week.