Normally, we’d hold this for Monday morning and UNLEASH IT on you just as you got to your desk — like, as a way to really shake you awake, a concoction more potent than coffee — but the Emmys are this afternoon and we’re all about to get run over by a wave of GOWNS and I didn’t want Fug Nation to miss this precious and thoughtful exploration of the boundaries of nudity and artistry in a public forum:

iHeartRadio Music Festival - Day 2 - Backstage

Your move, Bieber. That Fug Madness Repeat Win is just slipping out of your hands like sands through the hourglass — an apt metaphor given that Miley’s life is currently kind of soap operatic — and you’re acting as if you’re powerless, POWERLESS to stop it. Do you think you can fight CIRCULAR PASTIES — like wee coasters for her nipples — with your new mustache? STEP UP, KID, or bow down and just give Miley the win now. She’s wearing fishnet, stickers, panties, and a polar bear. SHE WANTS THIS.

[Photo: Getty]