At first, I was going to Fug or Fab this.
Yes, it looks a bit like she’s taken a very fancy wine-bottle gift sack and cinched it under her boobs, but in a weird way it’s also kind of flattering — I mean, listen, we’re talking about Captain Drawstrings here, the succubus of stretch-satin. Sometimes fug is a comparative science, so if I were slipping into my lab coat and safety goggles, I might conclude that this is a win.
However, she’s betrayed by the microscope:
That is one ratty piece of fabric right there. It looks like she ripped it into that shape herself, probably with her teeth, possibly with a force so urgent that it knocked her Carol Channing wig asunder. Somebody should’ve slipped the photographers a Benjamin to stay in a long shot. Things were so much happier then.