Some directors on this show seem to get that the clothes are half of what get us in the door, and some of them don’t. So while some of them very courteously give us full-body shots of all the girls, sometimes we have to pull a couple rabbits out of very sloppy hats. Thank you, Director of Episode Three, for giving us not one but TWO opportunities to capture Aria’s ladder pants. You are an American hero. But we have a lot of gawking to do before we get there. Also, I know technically this is episode 14 of season two, or something, but ABC Family is so confusing with its split seasons that to me it’s just “Episodes 2 and 3 of the most recent time it came back from break.”
Oh, and the plot: A is still sending text messages, 90 percent of which involve the word “bitch” or “bitches.” Hanna thinks her cute nerd friend might be A’s associate, but he’s not; her boyfriend doesn’t like her keeping secrets; Spencer shoves Toby away and then shoves her tongue down his throat again; Aria and Ezra can’t date (OF COURSE YOU CAN’T) so they pine for each other (STOP THAT) and she keeps trying to orchestrate ways to see him (HE WILL GET ARRESTED) even though some other kid is in love with her (THE PROBLEM IS THAT EZRA IS SO MUCH CUTER THAT IT’S HARD NOT TO ROOT FOR HIM EVEN THOUGH IT IS CREEPY AND WRONG); and Emily and Maya are still in loooove. And A does some stuff and I can’t remember any of it except that we find out he/she/it sometimes uses Spencer’s family cabin as an evil lair. Which means he/she/it may have seen Hanna and Caleb having THE SEX. Please, bitches, you’d already have the photo if that were true.