Fug Madness had me behind by a week, but this will catch us all up, and YOU GUYS, cable’s hottest show IS: Dallas. It. Has. Everything. Drunk people, explosions, methane, insults, ladies who fall down stairs, murderous grandfathers, and sex roulette. You know, that thing where you just spin around for a while and then proposition the first person your eyes focus on. AHEM. EMMA.